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Finding a Friend in Yourself

We have many relationships that are important to us. As a wife and a mother, I tend to spend my time strengthening and developing the relationships I have with my children and spouse. I often forget just how important I am and the relationship I have with myself. Having a strong relationship with yourself can be a powerful force in your life. All your other relationships are affected by how you see yourself. The relationship you have with yourselves is the longest relationship you will have in your life. It will always be there, so why not cultivate and grow it into something beautiful and healthy?


In all my relationships, I try to be kind. One way to be more kind to yourself is to practice positive self-talk. Many times we fill our minds with negative thoughts. These thoughts shape the way we see ourselves. Instead of having negative messages play in your mind when things do not go your way, try reframing it positively. For instance, when things do not work out the way you planned instead of seeing this as a failure, see it as pushing past your comfort zone. As you begin to implement positive self-talk into your life, you will notice an increase of joy and hope in your life. So, be kind to yourself in thought and words.



Make time for yourself. Self-care is so vital to a healthy relationship with yourself. When my kids were small, I struggled to find time for myself. My husband was away on a military deployment, and I was struggling in so many ways. I realized that I needed to take time for myself, so I joined a workout group. These precious hours I had each week were vital to my emotional health, strengthening the relationship I had with myself. I had lost my identity, and taking the time to recognize my need for self-care helped me in many ways. Prioritize time for yourself. This time does not have to be spent working out; it can be spent taking a bath or reading a book. Whatever you do, make sure you set an appointment with yourself and keep it.


As you make time for yourself, you will find things that bring you joy. I love to bake; I always say baking helps me relieve stress. I love to share what I bake with others. I feel so much joy when I try a new recipe, and even though it does not always turn out perfect, it is still delicious. Spend time doing things that bring you joy. Maybe you love to go for walks, or you enjoy yoga. If you cannot think of anything, then try something until you find your thing. Maybe searching for something that brings you will lead you to a hobby that you love, like baking!


Lastly, practice an attitude of gratitude. I am always trying to impart this wisdom to my teenagers. They tend to roll their eyes, but I truly believe no matter what, there is always something to be grateful for. That includes things about yourself. We tend to be our own worst critics, so; I am sure if I asked you to list five things you don’t like about yourself, you would be able to without hesitation. However, what if I asked you to write down five things you do like about yourself? Could you do it? Please take a moment and do this, write out five things or more that you like about yourself. Seeing it written down can change the way you see yourself; it will make it easier to see just how amazing you are.


The journey to a strong relationship with yourself is an important one to take. It can help you find your strengths and accept your weaknesses. It can help you discover the important things and give you the courage to pursue them.


This week, please write down daily five things you like about yourself or things you are grateful for yourself. It may be hard at first, but as you do this daily, it will become easier to recognize them.


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